How buying a house is an archaic crap-fest

As I sit down and write that title, it’s actually a little too apropos, because it’s almost exactly like being a parent for the first time.

People often tell often ask you when you are going to have your first one, You often don’t know what you’re getting yourself into, friends and family don’t talk about it and, while you often fall in love with your potential house on first sight, it’s going to cost you a pretty penny over the life of the relationship.

I’m not going to bore you with discussions of how much I paid (too much), or what my interest rate (too high) is or how to shop around for lenders (it’s complicated), but suffice it to say, the experience was overwhelming. I went from sending secure messages of my most sensitive documents to just emailing them directly. I spent 30 minutes on my closing, just signing documents that were put in front of me. Sure, I had a lawyer, but with hundreds of pages of documents, anyone would cringe at that prospect.

Also, people who talk about shopping around for mortgage rates and saying it’s easy, don’t remember how hard it was the first time.

Your family asks when you getting your first one…

I remember having this conversation with my family back in my 20s. They thought I was a sucker for renting. I thought they were misguided since location, location, location, was important to me at the time. However, the nagging sensation in the back of my mind was officially set. With my rent payments, I’m paying for someone else home. And… that… is… always… there. Gnawing at you as the months and years pass by.

You don’t know what you are getting yourself into…

The way they get you, is the convince you that buying a home is a little like finding a place to rent. You hear about a new open house or see a listing and either go on a Saturday or schedule an appointment to view the house. You take a look around, check the corners, think about how you’d use the space, judge the owners of the house for the house upkeep, and, ultimately, decide if feels right for you.

Congratulations, this is the sex part of parenting. I’d argue with anyone, the best part. It’s the dream of what could be, if only you choose that particular home.

Friends and Families don’t talk about the experience…

The first time I heard about my friends buying a home was when they were looking for one. The next time was when they bought the home and the third time, was how much money it was costing them to redo the yard. However, they have a moving in party and their house is beautiful (or it’s not) and it’s theirs. You look around at their likely still empty house and imagine, what if…

When renting, you never really feel like the place is yours, because it isn’t. So making internal and external changes is a no-no. Sure you can paint, but always with the idea that you’ll need to paint it back once you leave the place.

You’re going to love it, but it’s gonna cost you…

I don’t just mean money, but the time it takes. Which is also money, so I mean money.

The main benefit of renting is that it’s often in a place you likely can’t afford to buy. You get the benefit of living in a good location at the cost of not investing in the home yourself.

Looking back, there is honestly a peace of mind with renting, such as that time when the neighbors, above our unit, left their bathroom sink on too long and it caused a water leak in our ceiling and ruined some papers and blankets we had been storing underneath. We didn’t have to call a plumber. We didn’t have to arrange a contractor to patch the hole. We called the landlord and within a few weeks the hole was patched up and our problem was solved.

I didn’t need to think of all that water damaging the wood behind the walls. Sure, I lost things, but they were easily replaceable. The house isn’t and that would have kept me up at night.


Welp, I mean I bought my house, and I do love it, but I can’t help but wonder what type of house it will be. Will it be needy, will it be kind, will it give me back to back problems. No idea, but it is mine and I will love it forever. Or until I sell it, but it will always be my first and, much like a parent, I’m already feeling a sense of pride.



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